Well, I suppose it’s time to tell you all what’s been happening over the last month or so. Allie told me that she wanted a divorce back on May 24th and at the same moment she told me not to tell anyone for some reason. Needless to say, I was shocked but not completely.
Our problems started last summer, I found a very graphic “story” that she had written about a friend of ours that she had a huge crush on. Of course, reading the “story” crushed me in so many ways. I immediately confronted her about it and she explained it was only a story and that she had embellished what she had written for the sake of storytelling. I flew off the handle and blamed the guy and refused to speak with him again. Unfortunately, I chose the wrong person to be angry with but how could I not take my Allie’s side? He was completely innocent to Allie’s crush and was/is just a genuinely nice guy, albeit, quite handsome. And in reality and to be fair to Allie, nothing happened between the two of them. It was the first time in our relationship that I had some major doubts about Allie’s honesty, integrity and her love.
Allie and I worked it out and I forgave her because it really wasn’t anything but some words (pretty graphic and gut-wrenching to read) and a little crush but it was impossible to forget what she had done. I have to admit I became some what paranoid after that happened. I tried many times to get her to make friends with some girls so she could have fun while I worked for us at the pub in the evening. She wouldn’t do it. She is pretty antisocial and has become more so over the last year and she is especially antisocial with other girls, and that's according to her. In the meantime, she was getting more and more friendly with her students at the Air Force, she was constantly getting text messages from her students at all hours of the night and became very secretive about it. I decided not to yell at her and not to tell her to stop it because I thought by me giving her my trust she would do me no wrong.
Unfortunately, it did bother me a lot, so I went the passive aggressive and truly wrong route and would make comments such as “which one of your boyfriend’s is texting you now?” and the like. She had a married student texting her with elicit messages that were “jokes” but I didn’t find them funny and she knew it. But I tried not to let it bother me. She didn't get mad when she went out to dinner with another one of her married students that she knew liked her and had actually told her that he liked her. Funny thing is that he was supposedly a really nice guy that did everything for his wife and then she cheated on him! Sound familiar? I thought the guy was a real A-hole for hitting on Allie but I suppose she flirted back with him just like the rest of the guys. I let this behavior happen because I felt so bad that I wasn’t at home with her but I was at the pub earning money for US. I let her go for a motorcycle ride with yet another student we met in Loreto after we had returned to Rome. I let it happen because I trusted her. All the while, she knew it was bothering me but she did nothing to change her behavior.
When I finally decided to quit the pub because I had enough hours at the school she was heading off to Loreto. She found a guy that she was attracted to and he was attracted to her. She actually told me about this crush, well sort of. She said “there is this guy Jules likes but I think he likes me” That was all. I didn’t say anything because how can you not be attracted to Allie. She’s beautiful, funny, smart, seemingly everything that is great in a person. Soon after things really started to deteriorate between us.
Then during the weekends when she said she would come back and spend time with me she actually came back grouchy, tired and nothing to do with me even though I wasn’t working at all, she would stay in bed and say she was so tired from working all week. And when she did come home, all she did was send text messages to mysterious people and let me feed her. I practically had to beg her to meet me, Diego, and Jillian in Florence. In fact, she was too tired to come back Friday so she stayed until Saturday morning. Turns out she wasn’t too tired to go to the disco into the wee hours with her crush. So when she met us she was a ghost The next weekend, on Friday night at about 11pm after we ate dinner with Diego, Jillian and our Scottish friend, Alistair, she got a phone call and immediately left our group and went and had a secret conversation on the phone. I noticed it but I chose not to notice it. The next day she told me she wanted out. She didn’t say the actual word “divorce” because she is so passive aggressive she made me say it for her. Thereby, relieving her of the burden. I suppose it was only right because I’ve done everything possible for her for the last 6 plus years, always putting myself second to her.
I have much more to write but I just wanted to get it rolling for now.
*This may appear a one-sided account of the story and that is true it has been written by a fairly bitter man. I tried to be as polite as possible though I’m not sure why anymore. She will no longer be writing on this blog and as of this moment she is with the family of her “crush” for the next ten days to practice her Italian, so forgive me for being a little hostile. Though, it's probably for the best because I've been mean to her a lot this week.
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