Later That Day...

"Every line is about,
Who I don't want to write about anymore." Jesse Lacey



The following was written the day after my breakdown that occurred between Saturday evening and Sunday morning, June 8th.


So, as I start my second watch* on Via Gallia, I wonder what I'm going to see or even accomplish by doing this. I would rather see it with my own eyes than have to believe Allie at this point. A year ago, I would have laughed at the thought of me doing this or this whole situation. "Not possible," I would have said. Well, now I'm literally standing on the sidewalk waiting for them to pull up. It's a cold and ugly day here in Rome, kind of like how I feel inside me. This type of behavior will definitely not win her back but that's not what I want anyway. This sucks, staring at every car that pulls up, just wanting to really be crushed once and for all. What exactly am I hoping for? Man, this sucks. I feel so bad, so sick inside over all of this.

* They were supposed to arrive earlier but there was traffic on the GRA (the ring around Rome) so they arrived later than she had originally told me. She was polite enough to call though, I might have stood outside for two hours in the cold if she hadn't called to tell me.